he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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