No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
