Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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