So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it was like eating out sand paper
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
