quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
