Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize