Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I need moral support for this bender
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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