Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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