so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
