VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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