North Korea, Best Korea!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
