So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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