So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
