when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
