Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
