He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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