All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
