i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
