Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
