Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
