I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
