Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
