we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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