Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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