a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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