let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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