idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
