Where did you get a picture of my penis
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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