So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
