hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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