So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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