marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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