And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
