my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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