I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize