i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
