i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
