Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize