am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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