Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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