I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize