I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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