and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
