My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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