I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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