Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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