i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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