He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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