remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
