Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
