i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize