if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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