The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
