I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
