Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
