u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
