i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize