A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You don't make any sense
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