saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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