I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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