Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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