how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
