Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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