Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
its not stalking. its research.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
