I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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