I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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