Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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