the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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