I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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