I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sorry my hands just texted you
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
