its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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