1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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