we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
