you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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