ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
