You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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