My nipple is on Facebook.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
