whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
